We've joined the ranks of the Marrieds.
We love it. =)
All one (plus) week of married life has been fantastic, though not without a few bumps. I bet if Husband (=D) were married to himself, things would be a lot less stressful and there would be less freak-outs, but for some reason he chose me to be married to. I do love married life (all one (plus) week of it...) but must admit, some things I've been totally taken off guard by. Like how different it is to go from never being alone together to being alone together all the time. Take last night, for instance. For one reason or another, Husband and I (pre-marriage) never saw each other on Sunday nights. I found myself next to him on the couch, flipping through the channels, and realizing that I usually watch back-to-back Bridezillas or some other equally girly TV choice on Sunday nights. And suddenly, I put together how weird it feels to be cuddling on the couch on a Sunday night, not watching Bridezillas. I start to think, shouldn't we be more exciting than watching TV?? Shouldn't we be, I dunno, going out or decorating or having some fantastic gourmet meal we've created together in our cozy kitchen? Because every married couple cooks gourmet together. And does something entertaining all the time.
But, no, being married didn't just automatically our preferences. If we both enjoyed watching a movie more than going out on the town before, we still enjoy it more now. Except when I ruin the enjoyment by freaking out at how much we're enjoying being "boring", as I believe I put it. I won't lie, I may be high maintenance emotionally, but when it comes to other things, I'm very simple. Give me a good book, or a movie. Knitting. Cooking. I guess the hardest part was/is realizing that I'M a little boring. Oh well. But then, of course, this morning, when Husband goes to work and I stay home til my lessons later this afternoon, I realize how much I miss him. Just being around him for the last week (plus) has spoiled me.
That, and the fact that I'm in an apartment that I've only lived in for, oh what is it... three days? When he left this morning, he came in to give me a kiss and tell me he put the dishes through (total "awww!" factor). In my semi-conscious state I "mmhmm"-ed my acknowledgement. But then, I kept hearing this weird noise as I'm trying to get back to sleep. A kind of bump...bump...bump... -long pause- bump. Swishing-ish bumpy noise. I'm going through all of the worst case scenarios through my head when I realize it's the dishwasher. Duh. And now I'm doing laundry and keep getting weirded out by the spin cycle. Or the sound of cars passing outside since we're in an apartment complex, not a neighborhood. Adjustments to new life, all.
First dinner in the apartment was an almost success. I realized as I opened the bag of freezer-burned corn, that Taco Soup without corn is pretty much just weird chili. Thankfully, the bread I made with my new awesome breadmaker was fantastic. Since I married a bread loving man, this was a big win. I don't even think he noticed the weird chili. =) I got very excited opening my fancy new appliances, because they came with cookbooks! Of which I only had one previously. So now I have three. Three baby cookbooks. I'd really love something huge and substantial that weighs like 5 lbs to carry around the kitchen with me. But baby cookbooks fit into our storage plan MUCH better, so I'm happy. =) I've also gotten a few cookbooks on my Kindle, for free, so this really works. Hurray!
We received adorable "Mr. & Mrs." traveling mugs as a wedding gift and took them with us to church yesterday (gag if you must, but we are proud of our newlywed status!). However, they seem to be regular ceramic containers, not double walled as I assumed. We realized this as we kinda burned our hands taking them out to the car with our hot, fresh coffee/tea. I grabbed myself a little contraption that I knit which I call a Mug Sweater, but didn't bring one for Husband because the choices were pink, purple, and more purple. He looked so disappointed when he didn't have one! So, I'm in the process of knitting him a Man Mug Sweater in a lovely - I mean, so manly! - doe brown. It's soft, too. =) I'm gonna have to figure out a way to stitch in "Mr." because it would cover the print of the mug up... then I can make myself another girly one with the excuse of adding the "Mrs." =)
Shame from Husband over not reading anything new lately. He even said, "You're reading The Hunger Games? Again? How many times is that, fifty??". HE read TWO new books that he got in the airport on our way to the Bahamas, but in my defense, both of them were referred to him by me. I hadn't started them yet but thought he'd enjoy. So now he's finished with them and I still haven't started yet. Shame, shame on me... but I'll catch up.
Thanks to everyone for your support through my wedding planning and I hope you enjoy my wedded blogs! They will most likely contain things that actually have to do with tea, knitting, and cozy things now that wedding planning is over! =)
Love to all,
The Mrs.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
I'm not kidding with this...
It is my last blog as a single woman.
Even using the word "woman" is a little weird to me. I almost said single girl, but if I'm about to get married, I suppose I've reached womanhood. Strange!
The day is alarmingly close and I am alarmingly calm. At this point. =P Things are in place, wrinkles in plans have been smoothed out, and I was given some very great advise lately, at my bachelorette party actually, about the details. I was talking about how I'm afraid that I'm gonna let something fall through the cracks, and I got about four responses of "Let it fall!", all from my married friends! Anything that hasn't been dealt with by now obviously isn't that important. Phew! It has really helped mellow me out. I'm ready to get this show on the road now!
The most stressful part of the last two weeks has been packing and moving. Is there anything I hate more in this life than packing? Mmmm... Nothing comes to mind at the moment. Hate packing. Love Fiance. Eye on the prize - gotta get it done!
I've read various books lately, but when I picked out "The Hunger Games" today, it made me so happy. I've definitely read it more than four times, so it should not make me so excited to read it again, but it just does! Such adventure, such suspense! And Peeta reminds me, in a lot of ways, of my own dear Fiance. What's not to love?! Plus, I need something to divert my attention when flying, so it'll be good for the honeymoon flight. No more excuses. A girl can love a book. Excuse me, a woman can love a book.
I'd hoped to have more to say for my last single blog, but for sone reason I can't seem to focus. Mysterious, I know. I'll be back after the wedding and honeymoon. =D Hurray! Excitement!
Love
Miss Bianca (has to use Miss for the last time!)
P.S. Do not watch Fiddler on the Roof, Little Women, or Funny Girl before the wedding. Raising that kind of emotion is just not worth it!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Ah, pre-marital delusions...
Fiance and I have begun our pre-marital sessions. At first, I dreaded them, nearly sweaty-palmed terrified at the prospect. But after our first meeting wasn't so bad, I figured it would be okay. Turns out, these books they make you read on marriage? They do their best to make you understand what REAL marriage will be like.
Like crush-your-childhood-fantasy-of-marriage real.
It's good, I don't want to be in denial or have impossible expectations. And I'm a lot more realistic about my ideas about relationships than I once was. And most of the stuff (so far) has been things I'm trying to prepare myself about anyway. But then Fiance has to go and do this.
Scenario:
I'm texting my love and all of a sudden, he lets me know that the power has gone out in his apartment, right in the middle of him making dinner for himself, albeit Tuna helper dinner. Still oh no! (Note: anyone who has ever made any kind of Fill-In-The-Blank Helper knows that it does not begin prettily. In fact, every one of them looks like some sort of vomit till about 3 seconds before it's done. Fiance and I call this the "Ugly Stage" of Helper meals.) I am duly sympathetic and helpful.
Him: Maybe there's enough residual heat on the burner to finish it...
Me: Oh no! What were you making?
Him: Tuna Helper lol
Me: Aww, still in the ugly stage or almost done?? Did you put a lid on it??
Him: I had a lid on it and it's definitely ugly. It's not thick yet and it's like soup. Tuna Helper soup.
Me: I'm sorry!! =(
Him: It's kinda done... tastes alright but looks like gruel. Some of the poweder stuff didn't mix in all the way.
Me: Oh lame =( I'm sorry!
All normal disapointment/make it better stuff, right? Here comes the drama.
Him: It's fine baby. I'm sure there will be times like that when we're married.
GASP. WHAT?!?!??!?!
Me: NO!!! Never! Everything I cook will be perfect! Always! I'll be a flawless wife!
Him: ... and if the power goes out in the middle of your flawless dinner?
IMPOSSIBLE!!!
Me: I'm still flawless! I have magic powers!
Him: Oh, that's right, I forgot. Sorry baby. =P
I know everything won't be perfect and that I'll never be a flawless wife... in theory. When faced with this real-life conundrum I was deeply saddenedwith the truth that yes, one night in our married life, I'll be cooking a glorious, time-consuming, non-Helper dinner. And the power will go off. And ruin everything. How will I respond to this? Hmmm...
I guess the most eye opening part of pre-marital and, from my understanding, that first year together, is the true LIFE stuff. The everything-isn't-always-rainbows-and-daisies stuff. And you know what?
That's okay.
We will eat Tuna Helper gruel by candle light.
Love to all, especially Fiance,
Bianca
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Professors Over Tea
I find that if I make a statemtent like, "Don't expect another post till after the wedding!", it takes the pressure off, and then I actually DO! Don't pee your pants at my two posts in one month.
I was a little disappointed, friends, because I was expecting some feedback about my Etsy idea and alas! none came to me! I would love anyone's input (or advise) about getting started.
This morning, I was reminiscing with my Mama over a cup (or several cups!) of tea, talking about college professors and how much they have influenced my life now, as a teacher. Full circle moment! Obviously, my voice coach from college is the one that I think about the most often, as I use MANY of her encouraging techniques with my students, and just remembering her manner as a teacher has shaped so much of how I handle things. So, that one's obvious.
But not as, shall I say, daily, were my other professors, some of them not even involved in music! I feel like there were a handful of professors who really "got" me, as a person and as a student. They saw that I had the commitment and the drive, and really pushed me to my full potential, without pushing me over the edge. The department head for my college was one; she was also my first piano teacher, repertoire seminar director, and composition and analysis professor, to name a few. She wore many hats! She was also one of those teachers who, absolutely anytime I asked a question or didn't understand, would do everything she could to help me get to understanding. She was never, "Well, that's just how I teach it, so, if you don't get it, too bad!" and I really appreciate that about her. Even in comp and analysis, a class I was WRETCHED at, she saw more of my effort than my actual work sometimes, and that meant so much to me (as I am not a composer, nor am I very analytical when it comes to music - I just love it!). That class was such a stretch for me, and having someone who didn't give up was huge.
Same for my theory prof. DANG, what was I even doing in that class?!? She was one of those who, if you made the effort to get with her outside of class time, she made SURE you did well. She just wanted to make sure the students were as serious about her time as she was. I totally respect that now, when I go into a seemingly packed day of lessons to come out the other side only having two who show up!
I gotta recognize a non-music prof, though (which is funny, because he happens to be quite musical), who had a big impact on me, and looking back, I'm not even sure why. Maybe it was because I had him for my first semester in college - a lot of people from those first few months mean so much to me. Maybe it was because I was always the ONLY person who laughed at his jokes in class. Seriously, the man makes a joke, I giggle a little, or all-out guffaw, and I get 20 blank stares at me from the rest of the class. The man is FUNNY, people. I got the feeling from him that most of his non-major students didn't really work hard, because he always valued my work ethic. And when the end of the final year came, and we were asked to invite one teacher to represent us at a senior ceremony, I chose him. And his speech is something I'll remember forever, I think.
So, today, I recognize my past professors. I almost said "fellow teachers", but that seems so weird to me, to count myself as one of their ranks. They are top shelf. And, honestly, should my 20-year plan pan out, and I become a college professor one day, I hope that they're proud of me. Because they were the inspiration. =)
love,
bianca
I was a little disappointed, friends, because I was expecting some feedback about my Etsy idea and alas! none came to me! I would love anyone's input (or advise) about getting started.
This morning, I was reminiscing with my Mama over a cup (or several cups!) of tea, talking about college professors and how much they have influenced my life now, as a teacher. Full circle moment! Obviously, my voice coach from college is the one that I think about the most often, as I use MANY of her encouraging techniques with my students, and just remembering her manner as a teacher has shaped so much of how I handle things. So, that one's obvious.
But not as, shall I say, daily, were my other professors, some of them not even involved in music! I feel like there were a handful of professors who really "got" me, as a person and as a student. They saw that I had the commitment and the drive, and really pushed me to my full potential, without pushing me over the edge. The department head for my college was one; she was also my first piano teacher, repertoire seminar director, and composition and analysis professor, to name a few. She wore many hats! She was also one of those teachers who, absolutely anytime I asked a question or didn't understand, would do everything she could to help me get to understanding. She was never, "Well, that's just how I teach it, so, if you don't get it, too bad!" and I really appreciate that about her. Even in comp and analysis, a class I was WRETCHED at, she saw more of my effort than my actual work sometimes, and that meant so much to me (as I am not a composer, nor am I very analytical when it comes to music - I just love it!). That class was such a stretch for me, and having someone who didn't give up was huge.
Same for my theory prof. DANG, what was I even doing in that class?!? She was one of those who, if you made the effort to get with her outside of class time, she made SURE you did well. She just wanted to make sure the students were as serious about her time as she was. I totally respect that now, when I go into a seemingly packed day of lessons to come out the other side only having two who show up!
I gotta recognize a non-music prof, though (which is funny, because he happens to be quite musical), who had a big impact on me, and looking back, I'm not even sure why. Maybe it was because I had him for my first semester in college - a lot of people from those first few months mean so much to me. Maybe it was because I was always the ONLY person who laughed at his jokes in class. Seriously, the man makes a joke, I giggle a little, or all-out guffaw, and I get 20 blank stares at me from the rest of the class. The man is FUNNY, people. I got the feeling from him that most of his non-major students didn't really work hard, because he always valued my work ethic. And when the end of the final year came, and we were asked to invite one teacher to represent us at a senior ceremony, I chose him. And his speech is something I'll remember forever, I think.
So, today, I recognize my past professors. I almost said "fellow teachers", but that seems so weird to me, to count myself as one of their ranks. They are top shelf. And, honestly, should my 20-year plan pan out, and I become a college professor one day, I hope that they're proud of me. Because they were the inspiration. =)
love,
bianca
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Time must have wings these days...
I feel very dishonest with a blog named "A cup of tea with my knitting, please". I think it should be renamed "A cup of planning with my wedding, please..." for right now. =P
I have not abandoned you, my faithful readers! The fact that I have missed several months of blogging is absurd to me. Surely, it has only been a week or so since my last entry?? With the wedding coming, and we are now in the double digits (finally!), weeks seem to pass like days to me. I think of something to do and before I know it, it's two weeks later and I'm overdue! But, thankfully, because I tend to plan ahead, I am still on time for most of my lists.
I had a wonderful, lovely shower with my soon-to-be in-laws (aka Fiance's family) and we got so much loot for our new life together! Never have I appreciated the concept of wedding gifts and showers more. Until it was me, it's always been, yeah, of COURSE you get a gift for so-and-so's wedding/shower. Duh! But now that I've been through it, I feel so deeply thankful for these gifts. The fact that you put out a list of things you need or want for your new life as a married couple and people actually buy things for you, to help you out, is so amazing! I feel so blessed with our gifts and I am thankful for each and every one, and for the family who has gifted them to us. There is so much love. =)
I'm also getting very excited for the shower that is coming up, in my hometown. I just got off the phone with my Ro sister, who is in full invitation mode! I was telling her, it's kinda weird for me because up till now, I've been the one doing all the planning and getting information together and making sure things happen. With showers, all I do is get some names and addresses and show up!! How fun! =D It is also going to be a very, shall I say, "me" shower. My sisters (who double as bridesmaids and matron of honor) are throwing it and I must say, (though I know little of the details) they have got the nail on the head. I love when family shows that they know you in those little ways. Makes me feel all kinds of special. =)
I believe the countdown is now in the 70's. I feel like we JUST broke 100, and all of a sudden it's in the 70's already. I am so excited and ready! I had my little moments earlier on, and I won't lie, things do come up that I think, are we really ready for this? But, I know we are. Or are as ready as anyone ever is for marriage. =P We will be starting pre-marital counciling in a week or so, so that should be a good set-up for some interesting conversation topics! Thankfully, communication is one thing that me and the Fiance are pretty good at. We communicate so good sometimes we get real loud and right up close to each other, in the face, like. =P I don't mind that we argue, I think it's good. We always resolve and most of the time, realize it's not worth arguing over anyway. Plus, I'm usually the instigator... who knew that when uptight meets laid back, the uptight one would start all the stuff?? It's a mystery! =P
I am a serial repeater. If I read a book I love, I go back to it over and over. Same with music and movies. I have movies that are my "cozy, fall-asleep-to" movies that I pretty much know line-for-line, and music that is so familiar to me it makes me feel content just hearing it. I love that I'm marrying someone who uses the word "cozy" when he talks about what it'll be like in our apartment after we're married. I love that he knows what I do to the place I live in, whether it be a college dorm, apartment or a house: I cozy it up! Me and all my sisters seem to posess this talent. It's something I hope to pass along one day (one day far, far, FAR in the future, don't get any ideas). So, no new books lately. With all the hustle and bustle, I've been reverting to my cozy books.
Since I got a smartphone (oh yeah baby!) I tend to do things on it, not the computer. But there are some things that just cannot be done on a 2x4 screen, imagine that, and this is one of them. I shall try my best to post again before the wedding, but I make no promises! =)
Lots of love,
Bianca
p.s. To all of you awaiting knitting and crocheting posts, I will try to deliver, soon. I am also contemplating a page on Etsy so I can show you all of my lovely knitted and crocheted things... we shal see. =)
I have not abandoned you, my faithful readers! The fact that I have missed several months of blogging is absurd to me. Surely, it has only been a week or so since my last entry?? With the wedding coming, and we are now in the double digits (finally!), weeks seem to pass like days to me. I think of something to do and before I know it, it's two weeks later and I'm overdue! But, thankfully, because I tend to plan ahead, I am still on time for most of my lists.
I had a wonderful, lovely shower with my soon-to-be in-laws (aka Fiance's family) and we got so much loot for our new life together! Never have I appreciated the concept of wedding gifts and showers more. Until it was me, it's always been, yeah, of COURSE you get a gift for so-and-so's wedding/shower. Duh! But now that I've been through it, I feel so deeply thankful for these gifts. The fact that you put out a list of things you need or want for your new life as a married couple and people actually buy things for you, to help you out, is so amazing! I feel so blessed with our gifts and I am thankful for each and every one, and for the family who has gifted them to us. There is so much love. =)
I'm also getting very excited for the shower that is coming up, in my hometown. I just got off the phone with my Ro sister, who is in full invitation mode! I was telling her, it's kinda weird for me because up till now, I've been the one doing all the planning and getting information together and making sure things happen. With showers, all I do is get some names and addresses and show up!! How fun! =D It is also going to be a very, shall I say, "me" shower. My sisters (who double as bridesmaids and matron of honor) are throwing it and I must say, (though I know little of the details) they have got the nail on the head. I love when family shows that they know you in those little ways. Makes me feel all kinds of special. =)
I believe the countdown is now in the 70's. I feel like we JUST broke 100, and all of a sudden it's in the 70's already. I am so excited and ready! I had my little moments earlier on, and I won't lie, things do come up that I think, are we really ready for this? But, I know we are. Or are as ready as anyone ever is for marriage. =P We will be starting pre-marital counciling in a week or so, so that should be a good set-up for some interesting conversation topics! Thankfully, communication is one thing that me and the Fiance are pretty good at. We communicate so good sometimes we get real loud and right up close to each other, in the face, like. =P I don't mind that we argue, I think it's good. We always resolve and most of the time, realize it's not worth arguing over anyway. Plus, I'm usually the instigator... who knew that when uptight meets laid back, the uptight one would start all the stuff?? It's a mystery! =P
I am a serial repeater. If I read a book I love, I go back to it over and over. Same with music and movies. I have movies that are my "cozy, fall-asleep-to" movies that I pretty much know line-for-line, and music that is so familiar to me it makes me feel content just hearing it. I love that I'm marrying someone who uses the word "cozy" when he talks about what it'll be like in our apartment after we're married. I love that he knows what I do to the place I live in, whether it be a college dorm, apartment or a house: I cozy it up! Me and all my sisters seem to posess this talent. It's something I hope to pass along one day (one day far, far, FAR in the future, don't get any ideas). So, no new books lately. With all the hustle and bustle, I've been reverting to my cozy books.
Since I got a smartphone (oh yeah baby!) I tend to do things on it, not the computer. But there are some things that just cannot be done on a 2x4 screen, imagine that, and this is one of them. I shall try my best to post again before the wedding, but I make no promises! =)
Lots of love,
Bianca
p.s. To all of you awaiting knitting and crocheting posts, I will try to deliver, soon. I am also contemplating a page on Etsy so I can show you all of my lovely knitted and crocheted things... we shal see. =)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Impulse Buys That You Have to Finance...
are not a good idea.
I have to repeat this to myself as some kind of mantra because everyone is trying to sell me things lately, and I've discovered that if they use words like "quality" or "investment", I'm hooked. Was nearly sucked into a Cutco demonstration. A friend recommended to her friend that he call so I could hear his speech. No harm, right? No commitment intended, just helping a guy get started with his resume. WRONG. I got so interested in these quality knives that I almost, almost made a very bad financial decision and put a whole slew of investment on my credit card. Thankfully, I was with the Fiance who is a little more down-to-earth than I am at these crucial moments. I was also recently contacted from a sweepstakes that I had entered online that we had "won" and would we come down to collect our prizes? Of course! Ran smack into the middle of an amazing pots-and-pans demonstration that I, all of a sudden, HAD TO HAVE! (plus all of the free stuff they throw in if you order today!) Again, thankfully, I was not alone and the Fiance was there to level my head. We got our free stuff, which was why we went in the first place. I think all of this stems from my deep and abiding love for infomercials... I had to remind myself (and be reminded) that we had already registered for pots and pans AND knives, so please, somebody, save me from overspending!
My first bridal shower is coming up at the end of the month and I am so excited! The family-in-law is throwing it, so me and Fiance will be traveling up to PA to enjoy. Everything is moving so quickly now that I almost can't believe it. I remember telling myself when we had first gotten engaged, kinda walking through the landmarks in the engagement period, that when it was the summer, then the wedding was REALLY close. Well, friends, it is the summer. And according to Bianca of November '10, that means the wedding is REALLY close. According to Bianca of June '11, there's still PLENTY of time, LOADS of it!! ...but I also realize that I'm slightly delusional in my present state...
Shame and remorse. Ro's birthday passed. She was even here after it. And I have not finished her gift yet. I can't believe I've let this happen. I've been so good with my deadlines!! I won't let this get me down to the point where I'm all, "well, it's already been this long... I might as well just leave it there..." I WILL finish! I WILL! I am determined. Ro is one of the sisters who loves my handmade gifts the most, how could I let her down?? I'm so ashamed, but I will prevail. It will be with Ro soon.
Here's a sad story with a happy ending: I left my Kindle on the plane when Fiance and I went to PA for the wedding. -sob- We went through all the hoops to make sure if it was found it couldn't be hacked and all my stuff stolen from it as well as the information to get it back to me. But nobody, least of all me, was expecting it to turn up. On the day that I had decided I was going to order myself another one (not having heard anything in almost 2 weeks), I got an email. A glorious email from Amazon entitled: Your lost Kindle has been found. Hurray! I got it in the mail last week and I feel like I never want to put it down again! It's part of me now... okay, that's a little creepy, but I'm very happy to have it home. =) And thank you, to that kind and honest soul who must've turned it into the airline lost and found. I am eternally gratefuly to you!
with much love,
bianca
p.s. If you've been thinking about reading the book "Chocolat", DON'T. Watch the movie instead.
I have to repeat this to myself as some kind of mantra because everyone is trying to sell me things lately, and I've discovered that if they use words like "quality" or "investment", I'm hooked. Was nearly sucked into a Cutco demonstration. A friend recommended to her friend that he call so I could hear his speech. No harm, right? No commitment intended, just helping a guy get started with his resume. WRONG. I got so interested in these quality knives that I almost, almost made a very bad financial decision and put a whole slew of investment on my credit card. Thankfully, I was with the Fiance who is a little more down-to-earth than I am at these crucial moments. I was also recently contacted from a sweepstakes that I had entered online that we had "won" and would we come down to collect our prizes? Of course! Ran smack into the middle of an amazing pots-and-pans demonstration that I, all of a sudden, HAD TO HAVE! (plus all of the free stuff they throw in if you order today!) Again, thankfully, I was not alone and the Fiance was there to level my head. We got our free stuff, which was why we went in the first place. I think all of this stems from my deep and abiding love for infomercials... I had to remind myself (and be reminded) that we had already registered for pots and pans AND knives, so please, somebody, save me from overspending!
My first bridal shower is coming up at the end of the month and I am so excited! The family-in-law is throwing it, so me and Fiance will be traveling up to PA to enjoy. Everything is moving so quickly now that I almost can't believe it. I remember telling myself when we had first gotten engaged, kinda walking through the landmarks in the engagement period, that when it was the summer, then the wedding was REALLY close. Well, friends, it is the summer. And according to Bianca of November '10, that means the wedding is REALLY close. According to Bianca of June '11, there's still PLENTY of time, LOADS of it!! ...but I also realize that I'm slightly delusional in my present state...
Shame and remorse. Ro's birthday passed. She was even here after it. And I have not finished her gift yet. I can't believe I've let this happen. I've been so good with my deadlines!! I won't let this get me down to the point where I'm all, "well, it's already been this long... I might as well just leave it there..." I WILL finish! I WILL! I am determined. Ro is one of the sisters who loves my handmade gifts the most, how could I let her down?? I'm so ashamed, but I will prevail. It will be with Ro soon.
Here's a sad story with a happy ending: I left my Kindle on the plane when Fiance and I went to PA for the wedding. -sob- We went through all the hoops to make sure if it was found it couldn't be hacked and all my stuff stolen from it as well as the information to get it back to me. But nobody, least of all me, was expecting it to turn up. On the day that I had decided I was going to order myself another one (not having heard anything in almost 2 weeks), I got an email. A glorious email from Amazon entitled: Your lost Kindle has been found. Hurray! I got it in the mail last week and I feel like I never want to put it down again! It's part of me now... okay, that's a little creepy, but I'm very happy to have it home. =) And thank you, to that kind and honest soul who must've turned it into the airline lost and found. I am eternally gratefuly to you!
with much love,
bianca
p.s. If you've been thinking about reading the book "Chocolat", DON'T. Watch the movie instead.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Auditions, and Lessons, and Weddings, Oh My!
... or should I say, Oh, May! What a month, already.
I am officialy NOT a college student anymore. I know this has been official for a year now (yes, a year... DANG.), but the reality hit me when I went to audition for placement in an actual opera company for the '11-'12 season. I realized how truly important the audition was to me because nothing was given - if I get this part, it's because I earned it, in the real world, under real circumstances, with real talent. That, my friends, is huge. Granted, I have to keep myself from going to the place in my mind that says, "...then if you don't get it, you won't make it in the real world and have no talent and..." blah blah blah endless negativity blah. For now, I am in a positive place. It was a very, very successful audition, whether I make it or not. This is a concept I have not been able to grasp until now. Someone else's opinion of me, my voice, or my talent does not, I repeat NOT, determine my own success. I feel extremely pleased with the way I sang and performed. To me, that is success.
Especially since this was my first real, face-to-face, opera audition. Big.
By the way, has anyone ever figured out why judges are so unreadable?!? What's the deal? I think I would be a horrible talent judge because if someone came in and was great, I'd be so excited and want to tell them how great they were and hear them sing more and so on, instead of nonchalantly making a few notes on the paper, cutting them off mid-song, and going on to the next candidate. By the same token, if someone was terrible, I'd have a VERY difficult time keeping cringes from my expression and trying to help their pitch with my eyebrows. "Just a little higher, just a little higher!!!!!" I'd probably want to give them a few pointers then and there instead of saying a non-commital, "Thank you for coming! We'll let you know." They make it so hard to know whether you're in or out. I feel like I'm waiting to find out the secret password to the club entrance. And it's only been a few days. Terrible...
This has turned out to be an extremely busy two weeks past. I picked up almost a half-dozen new voice students, or at least prospective voice students. I thought everything would drop down to zero for summer plans, but it looks like everyone wants to pick it up now that school is out. Praise be, jobs for me! There are two that I am particularly looking forward to, a pair of sisters. They will be great, I have a feeling. I've also picked up more hours at my non-career job that pays my bills, so now I can pay more bills, yay. Bills... I never understood the dread of that monthly reminder that you shouldn't ever have any money left over until now. Oh sweet bills, you are such humanity. Thank you for keeping me humble and organized.
CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL THE WEDDING. I am getting to that place. That inevitable place where things have slowed down a little with the planning and now it's a waiting game. There are still things left to do, of course, but up until about a month from the wedding, I'm pretty much set. So, of course, I'm left thinking about all the things that could be happening, if we were already married. All of the coziness of the apartment together. All the movie nights and not having to go out to enjoy each other's company. And I have nearly 5 months of this left. I think I will drive myself crazy far before then. I am probably thinking about all of this even more given that the Fiance and I will be going up to PA to his cousin's wedding this weekend. I am very much looking forward to getting to relax and get away a little bit, and hopefully take a break from OUR wedding details and enjoy the fruits of someone ELSE'S planning labors!
All in all, busy suits me. I'm very excited about the prospect of a smartphone with an awesome calendar app so that I can keep everything even more organized. I have not been very good with my calendar these two weeks past - it's almost like too many things happened all at once to write down! But, the Fiance is getting his upgrade in about a week or so and I will be added to his phone plan, what with us getting married soon and all. I swear, we've done more things to bind us together for the next several years in the last few months that signing a marriage certificate is going to be nothing. Car loan, car title, insurance, phone, honeymoon vacation, plane tickets... we're set. We should've just signed one of those legal documents as Mr. and Mrs. and then we'd be done with all the fuss! =P
Love to you all and hope May brings many things besides just flowers,
-B
I am officialy NOT a college student anymore. I know this has been official for a year now (yes, a year... DANG.), but the reality hit me when I went to audition for placement in an actual opera company for the '11-'12 season. I realized how truly important the audition was to me because nothing was given - if I get this part, it's because I earned it, in the real world, under real circumstances, with real talent. That, my friends, is huge. Granted, I have to keep myself from going to the place in my mind that says, "...then if you don't get it, you won't make it in the real world and have no talent and..." blah blah blah endless negativity blah. For now, I am in a positive place. It was a very, very successful audition, whether I make it or not. This is a concept I have not been able to grasp until now. Someone else's opinion of me, my voice, or my talent does not, I repeat NOT, determine my own success. I feel extremely pleased with the way I sang and performed. To me, that is success.
Especially since this was my first real, face-to-face, opera audition. Big.
By the way, has anyone ever figured out why judges are so unreadable?!? What's the deal? I think I would be a horrible talent judge because if someone came in and was great, I'd be so excited and want to tell them how great they were and hear them sing more and so on, instead of nonchalantly making a few notes on the paper, cutting them off mid-song, and going on to the next candidate. By the same token, if someone was terrible, I'd have a VERY difficult time keeping cringes from my expression and trying to help their pitch with my eyebrows. "Just a little higher, just a little higher!!!!!" I'd probably want to give them a few pointers then and there instead of saying a non-commital, "Thank you for coming! We'll let you know." They make it so hard to know whether you're in or out. I feel like I'm waiting to find out the secret password to the club entrance. And it's only been a few days. Terrible...
This has turned out to be an extremely busy two weeks past. I picked up almost a half-dozen new voice students, or at least prospective voice students. I thought everything would drop down to zero for summer plans, but it looks like everyone wants to pick it up now that school is out. Praise be, jobs for me! There are two that I am particularly looking forward to, a pair of sisters. They will be great, I have a feeling. I've also picked up more hours at my non-career job that pays my bills, so now I can pay more bills, yay. Bills... I never understood the dread of that monthly reminder that you shouldn't ever have any money left over until now. Oh sweet bills, you are such humanity. Thank you for keeping me humble and organized.
CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL THE WEDDING. I am getting to that place. That inevitable place where things have slowed down a little with the planning and now it's a waiting game. There are still things left to do, of course, but up until about a month from the wedding, I'm pretty much set. So, of course, I'm left thinking about all the things that could be happening, if we were already married. All of the coziness of the apartment together. All the movie nights and not having to go out to enjoy each other's company. And I have nearly 5 months of this left. I think I will drive myself crazy far before then. I am probably thinking about all of this even more given that the Fiance and I will be going up to PA to his cousin's wedding this weekend. I am very much looking forward to getting to relax and get away a little bit, and hopefully take a break from OUR wedding details and enjoy the fruits of someone ELSE'S planning labors!
All in all, busy suits me. I'm very excited about the prospect of a smartphone with an awesome calendar app so that I can keep everything even more organized. I have not been very good with my calendar these two weeks past - it's almost like too many things happened all at once to write down! But, the Fiance is getting his upgrade in about a week or so and I will be added to his phone plan, what with us getting married soon and all. I swear, we've done more things to bind us together for the next several years in the last few months that signing a marriage certificate is going to be nothing. Car loan, car title, insurance, phone, honeymoon vacation, plane tickets... we're set. We should've just signed one of those legal documents as Mr. and Mrs. and then we'd be done with all the fuss! =P
Love to you all and hope May brings many things besides just flowers,
-B
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Shamed by a Blogging Sister, and other tales
It has been awhile and there is really no good excuse. Sure, I've gotten a lot of headway in the wedding plans. Yes, I've been working. Of course, I have a social life. But nothing really worth staying away for so long... nothing truly all-consuming.
NOT like this time last year. I cannot believe I have been a college graduate for a year now. I was just telling someone the other day (...or this morning?) that I feel like I've been on vacation for the past year. And just to recap, this last year has not been idle: secured 2 jobs, snagged an outrageously handsome man, began/continue wedding plans, got in an accident, got a new car... not to mention all the birthdays and holidays. But is all of this, though I may be continually busy (which I much prefer), even a FRACTION of a comparison to the amazing stress I achieved in education? NO. The answer is no. I devoted every thought and action to completing my degree. I was totally one-track and it really did consume me. Every time I think of it, I'm glad I took this time to NOT go to grad school. I just don't it's for me... at least not at the moment.
My sister Ro, however, SHAMES me with her continuous blog posts. Oh, I'm a college grad... and I have my Masters... and by the way, I'm in school CONTINUOUSLY because I'm a professor... and I blog all the time... and I'm awesome. (She doesn't say all of that, that's me being sarcastic.) More power to you, Ro. I admire your gluttony for the punishment that I call formal education. But, admittedly, all her students adore her and if I'd had a teacher (I say teacher because my college profs were pretty cool) like her, I probably would've enjoyed things more. As she's the next birthday, maybe I'll knit her a blog sweater. Probably not. =P
Wedding plans proceed smoothly. The time is passing all too quickly now and I can't believe how close it all is. Not that I'm complaining; I can't wait! I thought a nearly year-long engagement would move slower than cement uphill, but have been surprised at it's swift approach, praise God in heaven!
I overcame a petty struggle with myself over its recent spotlight and read "Water for Elephants". I thought it was fantastic; definitely one I'll read again. I realized lately that I tend to be a "seasonal" reader. At certain times of the year, I crave certain books, so by now I've read them every year for about 5 years or longer. I'm trying to expand my horizons now that reading is so accessable (thank you, dear Kindle!), but I still find myself gravitating towards those oh-so-cozy seasonal books. They are like old friends to me that I visit each year for a needed vacation. I've added a few to my list in the last year: The Hunger Games, the Anne of... series, the Maya Davis novels, and I think I can safely put Water for Elephants up there, too. I'm interested as to how they're going to trasnlate this vivid, detailed, and descriptive book to film. I hope they do it justice.
I think I stayed away till now because I was expecting of myself to have this fantastic, deep, intelectual comeback of a blog since it's been so long. I'm truly sorry if you were, too. =P
More to come and hopefully soon,
-bianca
NOT like this time last year. I cannot believe I have been a college graduate for a year now. I was just telling someone the other day (...or this morning?) that I feel like I've been on vacation for the past year. And just to recap, this last year has not been idle: secured 2 jobs, snagged an outrageously handsome man, began/continue wedding plans, got in an accident, got a new car... not to mention all the birthdays and holidays. But is all of this, though I may be continually busy (which I much prefer), even a FRACTION of a comparison to the amazing stress I achieved in education? NO. The answer is no. I devoted every thought and action to completing my degree. I was totally one-track and it really did consume me. Every time I think of it, I'm glad I took this time to NOT go to grad school. I just don't it's for me... at least not at the moment.
My sister Ro, however, SHAMES me with her continuous blog posts. Oh, I'm a college grad... and I have my Masters... and by the way, I'm in school CONTINUOUSLY because I'm a professor... and I blog all the time... and I'm awesome. (She doesn't say all of that, that's me being sarcastic.) More power to you, Ro. I admire your gluttony for the punishment that I call formal education. But, admittedly, all her students adore her and if I'd had a teacher (I say teacher because my college profs were pretty cool) like her, I probably would've enjoyed things more. As she's the next birthday, maybe I'll knit her a blog sweater. Probably not. =P
Wedding plans proceed smoothly. The time is passing all too quickly now and I can't believe how close it all is. Not that I'm complaining; I can't wait! I thought a nearly year-long engagement would move slower than cement uphill, but have been surprised at it's swift approach, praise God in heaven!
I overcame a petty struggle with myself over its recent spotlight and read "Water for Elephants". I thought it was fantastic; definitely one I'll read again. I realized lately that I tend to be a "seasonal" reader. At certain times of the year, I crave certain books, so by now I've read them every year for about 5 years or longer. I'm trying to expand my horizons now that reading is so accessable (thank you, dear Kindle!), but I still find myself gravitating towards those oh-so-cozy seasonal books. They are like old friends to me that I visit each year for a needed vacation. I've added a few to my list in the last year: The Hunger Games, the Anne of... series, the Maya Davis novels, and I think I can safely put Water for Elephants up there, too. I'm interested as to how they're going to trasnlate this vivid, detailed, and descriptive book to film. I hope they do it justice.
I think I stayed away till now because I was expecting of myself to have this fantastic, deep, intelectual comeback of a blog since it's been so long. I'm truly sorry if you were, too. =P
More to come and hopefully soon,
-bianca
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Dear Pollen...
If you were a person, you would be just about the only person for whom I would willingly go to jail for murder. My new car sits just beyond the grasp of your minion, Huge Pine Tree, who has rained down your icky-ness upon its pristine exterior. I, unknowing of your abrupt appearance, had kept my windows down, and lo! the icky-ness has crept to the inside of my new car as well! I have been meaning to speak to you about your rude visiting at the same time every year. You know I am never prepared for your baggage. I cannot even use the excuse of illness, as you happen to bring that with you upon my innocent sinuses. Were you kinder to me and my house, I might have invited you lovingly in. However, you continue to misbehave and be a general nuisance. Since nothing else has worked thus far, I can only vent you this frustrated missive. As it has done no good in the past on your character, I can expect no less this year. Know only this: IF you were a person... I would sincerely and heartily kill you. My condolences, Bianca.
p.s. no hard feelings.
p.s. no hard feelings.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tea towels and the coziest of cozies
Wow, what a completely gorgeous day we are experiencing here! It was chilly and crisp this morning and now it's a sunny, breezy, LOVELY afternoon! Windows open, curtains fluttering in the cool breeze. Bliss.
Birthday weekend with Ginan and other assorted family members was a blast and a total success! I can now reveal that I knitted her a fantastic (if I do say so myself!) tea cozy of my own pattern. Simplistic, cushy, and in tea-friendly colors with sweet little accents that make it all my own. Er, her own. I put the cozy on the tea pot during church Sunday morning so it was there in all its glory when she got home! I love this pattern, and I need to get its rights reserved so I can share; it is so easy and wonderful and variations are endless. I came up with the pattern when I was sent an AWESOME care package on my birthday my last year in college from Fiance's mom. She sent me 3 different kinds of yarn and some cool patterns to try. How thoughtful, right?
I also crocheted Ginan a tea towel of the on-the-oven-door variety. For those of you out there who have tried to do this, let me save you a lot of time, hand aches, and general frustration. FIND A TINY HOLE PUNCHER. I tortured my hands trying to poke holes with just my crochet hook and brute strength long enough to know. It took me nearly an HOUR to make my first crocheted-top towel because I had not yet discovered the hole puncher. Next time I tried, I made two in 30 minutes, with no bruises or redness to show for it! Blessings! This is a great project for anyone. People always need towels for the kitchen, and personalizing them with the crocheted top is a great way to say, "Hey, I love you enough to spend time on this gift!". The towels also work great in guest bathrooms and, as I said, they can be crocheted to match the decor. LOVE these towels! I have dozens of them from my Auntie and used them all through college and will be taking them with me to my new apartment!
Yes, the time has come. Fiance is moving into the apartment (we will share upon marrying) in a week. A WEEK!!! I keep telling him that it's "our" apartment, even though he will be living there first. I have to keep up with a constant stream of this brainwashing so that "our" apartment does not have the same fate as "his" bachelor-pad apartment had. I can't wait to move in and add all of my homeyness to the place. And the kitchen is absolutely glorious; so spacious and lots of cabinets!! Soon those cabinets will be home to the appliances and dishes (and towels!) we register for (and make!) !!! This is such an exciting place of life for me right now! (can ya tell by the excessive use of exclamation marks?)
I have a bit of a gap until the next birthday, but I'm pretty excited to get started on HER. Ro is fun to make things for, and easy to match - find something red and she will love it. Make something for her kitchen and she will love it. Something for her coffee table and she will love it. She also likes to drop lots of hints on what she wants, so I really just have to pick a few from the mental list. So easy. =P Until then, though, that's all that's on the knitting front.
How awesome are my siblings/future husband with my birthday presents, though? Awesome enough to get me lots of iTunes and Amazon gift cards! I'm so used to rationing myself on books and music and now I get to go a little crazy. I'm so excited! The first book I bought is turning out to be kindof a dud, though. It had such great potential: murder mystery, centered on the role of an executioner in a small German town in the middle ages; children turning up dead with witches marks on them! I'm almost finished with it, and it's just not taking the kind of turns I'd hoped. I'm greatly disappointed. Luckily, a woman left "The Time Traveler's Wife" at the gym lending library, which I (tragically) can't get on my Kindle. So I'm reading that, too. Great book.
Hope everyone enjoys this weather while it lasts, and happy knitting!
lots of love, bianca
Birthday weekend with Ginan and other assorted family members was a blast and a total success! I can now reveal that I knitted her a fantastic (if I do say so myself!) tea cozy of my own pattern. Simplistic, cushy, and in tea-friendly colors with sweet little accents that make it all my own. Er, her own. I put the cozy on the tea pot during church Sunday morning so it was there in all its glory when she got home! I love this pattern, and I need to get its rights reserved so I can share; it is so easy and wonderful and variations are endless. I came up with the pattern when I was sent an AWESOME care package on my birthday my last year in college from Fiance's mom. She sent me 3 different kinds of yarn and some cool patterns to try. How thoughtful, right?
I also crocheted Ginan a tea towel of the on-the-oven-door variety. For those of you out there who have tried to do this, let me save you a lot of time, hand aches, and general frustration. FIND A TINY HOLE PUNCHER. I tortured my hands trying to poke holes with just my crochet hook and brute strength long enough to know. It took me nearly an HOUR to make my first crocheted-top towel because I had not yet discovered the hole puncher. Next time I tried, I made two in 30 minutes, with no bruises or redness to show for it! Blessings! This is a great project for anyone. People always need towels for the kitchen, and personalizing them with the crocheted top is a great way to say, "Hey, I love you enough to spend time on this gift!". The towels also work great in guest bathrooms and, as I said, they can be crocheted to match the decor. LOVE these towels! I have dozens of them from my Auntie and used them all through college and will be taking them with me to my new apartment!
Yes, the time has come. Fiance is moving into the apartment (we will share upon marrying) in a week. A WEEK!!! I keep telling him that it's "our" apartment, even though he will be living there first. I have to keep up with a constant stream of this brainwashing so that "our" apartment does not have the same fate as "his" bachelor-pad apartment had. I can't wait to move in and add all of my homeyness to the place. And the kitchen is absolutely glorious; so spacious and lots of cabinets!! Soon those cabinets will be home to the appliances and dishes (and towels!) we register for (and make!) !!! This is such an exciting place of life for me right now! (can ya tell by the excessive use of exclamation marks?)
I have a bit of a gap until the next birthday, but I'm pretty excited to get started on HER. Ro is fun to make things for, and easy to match - find something red and she will love it. Make something for her kitchen and she will love it. Something for her coffee table and she will love it. She also likes to drop lots of hints on what she wants, so I really just have to pick a few from the mental list. So easy. =P Until then, though, that's all that's on the knitting front.
How awesome are my siblings/future husband with my birthday presents, though? Awesome enough to get me lots of iTunes and Amazon gift cards! I'm so used to rationing myself on books and music and now I get to go a little crazy. I'm so excited! The first book I bought is turning out to be kindof a dud, though. It had such great potential: murder mystery, centered on the role of an executioner in a small German town in the middle ages; children turning up dead with witches marks on them! I'm almost finished with it, and it's just not taking the kind of turns I'd hoped. I'm greatly disappointed. Luckily, a woman left "The Time Traveler's Wife" at the gym lending library, which I (tragically) can't get on my Kindle. So I'm reading that, too. Great book.
Hope everyone enjoys this weather while it lasts, and happy knitting!
lots of love, bianca
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Spring, sisters, and more important matters
Birthday gifts for Mama went wonderfully! I knitted her some new dishcloths in dark colors and patterns all my own! They're holding up pretty well; I need to tweak the patterns though, as this was a first attempt for both styles. She told me she is EVER willing to be my creative guinea pig, but of course she would. It means a constant stream of knittery! =) Have moved on to next birthday girl, my sister Ginan. Am going to see her this weekend which makes me VERY happy and excited! Coziness abounds wherever Ginan is. I am dearly hoping to see my other sister in that area, Ro, as well! I have missed them both a lot!
It is amazing how the simple act of opening ones window when the weather is simply gorgeous affects ones soul. I am absolutely adoring the early spring we're getting here. I have also very much enjoyed the effect of the gloriously beautiful music Ginan made me for my birthday on these lovely days!
I have been contemplating my tongue. In the car, I am hasty to cast judgment on any other car that makes the slightest mistake, especially when it comes close to my car! On the flip side, I often feel hesitant in groups to share my views when something is genuinely important. Especially if I feel very strongly on the subject. Lately, I have been taken for a ride in both these areas, as I wrecked my car and am increasingly sympathetic to the driver making the drastic-but-necessary move on the road. I am also involved in an "engaged couples" class that has turned out to be pretty much pre-pre-marital counseling. Touchy subjects abound and I am learning not only where the land-mines are in my husband-to-be, but especially in myself.
I was in a situation recently where I was with a dear friend, having a conversation with people I did not know as well. A subject came up that I knew I disagreed with, but what to say? I hate to seem that person who just can't wait to share their opinion, no matter how wrong or insensitive. So, of course, I remained quiet. To me, it was better than the alternative of, "I know I disagree, I'm just not sure how to put it. -dramatic pause- No, I just can't think of how to say this... sorry...?" What a lame end to something that didn't need to be said in the first place. Silence sometimes seems snobby (or at least I feel that that's how people view ME when I'm silent on something) but honestly, it's much better than saying something that you could achieve with the action of staying quiet. And I'm thankful, because it's only today that I realized what I COULD have said that would have been better than silence. It COULD have gone seriously wrong, though, and hindsight is always 20/20; plus, that sentence contains too many "could"s.
So, in all, I'm glad I held my tongue in this situation. But mostly, I pray that I am granted the right words to say when confronted again. I often pray for the right words these days. I hope everyone can get out and enjoy this beautiful weather while it lasts!
lots of love, B
It is amazing how the simple act of opening ones window when the weather is simply gorgeous affects ones soul. I am absolutely adoring the early spring we're getting here. I have also very much enjoyed the effect of the gloriously beautiful music Ginan made me for my birthday on these lovely days!
I have been contemplating my tongue. In the car, I am hasty to cast judgment on any other car that makes the slightest mistake, especially when it comes close to my car! On the flip side, I often feel hesitant in groups to share my views when something is genuinely important. Especially if I feel very strongly on the subject. Lately, I have been taken for a ride in both these areas, as I wrecked my car and am increasingly sympathetic to the driver making the drastic-but-necessary move on the road. I am also involved in an "engaged couples" class that has turned out to be pretty much pre-pre-marital counseling. Touchy subjects abound and I am learning not only where the land-mines are in my husband-to-be, but especially in myself.
I was in a situation recently where I was with a dear friend, having a conversation with people I did not know as well. A subject came up that I knew I disagreed with, but what to say? I hate to seem that person who just can't wait to share their opinion, no matter how wrong or insensitive. So, of course, I remained quiet. To me, it was better than the alternative of, "I know I disagree, I'm just not sure how to put it. -dramatic pause- No, I just can't think of how to say this... sorry...?" What a lame end to something that didn't need to be said in the first place. Silence sometimes seems snobby (or at least I feel that that's how people view ME when I'm silent on something) but honestly, it's much better than saying something that you could achieve with the action of staying quiet. And I'm thankful, because it's only today that I realized what I COULD have said that would have been better than silence. It COULD have gone seriously wrong, though, and hindsight is always 20/20; plus, that sentence contains too many "could"s.
So, in all, I'm glad I held my tongue in this situation. But mostly, I pray that I am granted the right words to say when confronted again. I often pray for the right words these days. I hope everyone can get out and enjoy this beautiful weather while it lasts!
lots of love, B
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Too fast, too slow...
Who was it who first noticed that when one area of your life seems to be going excellent well, the rest promptly falls apart? I think we can all identify with this cycle of life. Me? I'm smack in the middle of it.
For such a long time, all I wanted was to fall in love for real. To have my feelings returned. It seemed my lot in life to suffer the curse of the one-sided crush. Then I found my amazing fiance, who turned my whole world around (not to be cliche, but there it is) and filled in my other half.
So now that I've found love, what's to become of me? I'm trying to break into the world of private voice lessons - something I never thought I'd do, and have grown to deeply enjoy - but I seem to be constantly shut out of it. As soon as I get a new student, I lose an old one. Teenagers aren't the most reliable. They tend to spread themselves quite thin over different areas of study until they find something they like/enjoy/are good at. I never really did this. For me, it was always music, and any aspect of music I adored. It seems my students don't share this passion, or at least not completely. Poor things. Music is so fulfilling.
I guess on this overcast Thursday, as I lost yet another promising voice student to sports commitments, I am simply dreary. Slumpy. (I realize it's not a word, but you understood exactly what I meant when I used it, didn't you?) And wondering what to do with my life. With a birthday around the corner, I suppose it's natural. Almost everyone I've talked to about this point in life has said the same thing: it's all a transition.
Well, Sir Transition, you've got the better of me today. Tomorrow, I'll chalk all of this up to a large dose of Bronte. Perhaps too much.
much love, B
For such a long time, all I wanted was to fall in love for real. To have my feelings returned. It seemed my lot in life to suffer the curse of the one-sided crush. Then I found my amazing fiance, who turned my whole world around (not to be cliche, but there it is) and filled in my other half.
So now that I've found love, what's to become of me? I'm trying to break into the world of private voice lessons - something I never thought I'd do, and have grown to deeply enjoy - but I seem to be constantly shut out of it. As soon as I get a new student, I lose an old one. Teenagers aren't the most reliable. They tend to spread themselves quite thin over different areas of study until they find something they like/enjoy/are good at. I never really did this. For me, it was always music, and any aspect of music I adored. It seems my students don't share this passion, or at least not completely. Poor things. Music is so fulfilling.
I guess on this overcast Thursday, as I lost yet another promising voice student to sports commitments, I am simply dreary. Slumpy. (I realize it's not a word, but you understood exactly what I meant when I used it, didn't you?) And wondering what to do with my life. With a birthday around the corner, I suppose it's natural. Almost everyone I've talked to about this point in life has said the same thing: it's all a transition.
Well, Sir Transition, you've got the better of me today. Tomorrow, I'll chalk all of this up to a large dose of Bronte. Perhaps too much.
much love, B
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Secretly Single
There is an episode of "Sex and the City" where Carrie realizes she's not ready to live with someone. She enjoys her downtime and eating crackers standing up in the kitchen while thumbing through magazines. When she shares this with her best friends, she realizes that she is not alone. Miranda likes to put lotion on her hands and wear gloves to lock it in, and Samantha likes to... well, those who watch know what Samantha likes to do in her alone time. But, long story short (too late!) they dub these sometimes embarrassing habits "Secret Single Behavior".
I HATE FEET. I hate people's feet on me, I don't like my own feet, and I definitely do NOT like people touching my feet. I thought this would be a horrible trait in a relationship, but surprisingly, I have allowed my fiance into the inner sanctum: I actually let him give me foot rubs. I never would have thought this would be okay with me. EVER. But, love has it's perks.
However.
I realized that I still have some boundaries that are not going to stick once I get married. It's still a little frightening to think of sharing my entire life with someone. There's no more, "Oh, I'm so glad he's not here to see me like this!" Knowing we both need some down-time after our workdays is good, but what about the times when I need more than he does? Or a whole night to myself? Sometimes it all seems impossible, and then I remember that this is not a stranger I'll be living with, it's someone I deeply love. Does that make it easier? I don't know, but I think it'll take the edge off.
So, when my husband decides to take my socks off and rub my feet, will it bring me to tears the way it did a few weeks ago when my fiance sprang that move on me? Seriously, I was crying, so embarrassed and completely without reason other than the one I gave my fiance: winter feet. -shakes head- I guess my Secret Single Behavior was keeping my socks on in the winter so I don't have to paint my toenails. Sounds so silly, right? But it totally threw me, not being in control of that one thing that made me either comfortable or uncomfortable. Welcome to the rest of my life?
I hope I handle the rest of my life and all of those uncovered Secret Single Behavior moments with a little more finesse. I also hope that with HUNDREDS of wives who have gone before me, I'm not alone.
lots of love, B
I HATE FEET. I hate people's feet on me, I don't like my own feet, and I definitely do NOT like people touching my feet. I thought this would be a horrible trait in a relationship, but surprisingly, I have allowed my fiance into the inner sanctum: I actually let him give me foot rubs. I never would have thought this would be okay with me. EVER. But, love has it's perks.
However.
I realized that I still have some boundaries that are not going to stick once I get married. It's still a little frightening to think of sharing my entire life with someone. There's no more, "Oh, I'm so glad he's not here to see me like this!" Knowing we both need some down-time after our workdays is good, but what about the times when I need more than he does? Or a whole night to myself? Sometimes it all seems impossible, and then I remember that this is not a stranger I'll be living with, it's someone I deeply love. Does that make it easier? I don't know, but I think it'll take the edge off.
So, when my husband decides to take my socks off and rub my feet, will it bring me to tears the way it did a few weeks ago when my fiance sprang that move on me? Seriously, I was crying, so embarrassed and completely without reason other than the one I gave my fiance: winter feet. -shakes head- I guess my Secret Single Behavior was keeping my socks on in the winter so I don't have to paint my toenails. Sounds so silly, right? But it totally threw me, not being in control of that one thing that made me either comfortable or uncomfortable. Welcome to the rest of my life?
I hope I handle the rest of my life and all of those uncovered Secret Single Behavior moments with a little more finesse. I also hope that with HUNDREDS of wives who have gone before me, I'm not alone.
lots of love, B
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Slow down and sip your tea, already
I am waist deep in wedding plans.
I realized the other week that I had somehow gotten a month behind (how could that happen with all of those holidays? It's a mystery...) and was nearly overwhelmed at how much was left to do! I immediately contacted my wedding planner like a good little bride-to-be and began scheduling, online searches, magazine flipping and general haste-making in preparation. In short, I completely overloaded my brain with minutia.
Today, as I had only a few hours of a morning shift for one job and voice lessons in the afternoon, I decided it was time for tea. I changed back into my PJ's, filled the kettle, and clicked the unit into life. While waiting for the water to boil, I opened the cabinet to choose my tea combination and my eye caught The Box of Tea.
The Box of Tea is the tea that I bought on The Day my sweetheart and best friend proposed, before I knew it was going to be The Day. Knowing me as he does, he decided to take me to Charleston to the only tea plantation in North America and I, of course, went a little crazy in the gift shop. I am SO GLAD I allowed myself this seemingly small indulgence because when I pulled down The Box of Tea, I was immediately transported back to that wonderful day, reliving every detail and every joy and thought. Pouring the boiling water over one of those little tea bags made me remember the warmth of his hand around mine as we strolled through the shop. And the little Pot, Cup, and Saucer I bought will remind me of The Day every time I use it, long after The Box of Tea is gone. It may seem silly to some, but for me, it is wonderful, romantic, and a great reason to buy whatever you want in gift shops.
Well, maybe not that last one. =P
I'm reading a book right now called "Always the Baker, Never the Bride" about a small town pastry chef and how she gets roped into the wedding business. She is hired by a hotel manager who wants to turn the hotel into a one-stop wedding catch-all. Have I mentioned I would like to be transported into this book? It may not exactly be literature, but any character that presents high tea (complete with petit fours, tea pots, and other delicious treats) I can completely identify with.
I realized the other week that I had somehow gotten a month behind (how could that happen with all of those holidays? It's a mystery...) and was nearly overwhelmed at how much was left to do! I immediately contacted my wedding planner like a good little bride-to-be and began scheduling, online searches, magazine flipping and general haste-making in preparation. In short, I completely overloaded my brain with minutia.
Today, as I had only a few hours of a morning shift for one job and voice lessons in the afternoon, I decided it was time for tea. I changed back into my PJ's, filled the kettle, and clicked the unit into life. While waiting for the water to boil, I opened the cabinet to choose my tea combination and my eye caught The Box of Tea.
The Box of Tea is the tea that I bought on The Day my sweetheart and best friend proposed, before I knew it was going to be The Day. Knowing me as he does, he decided to take me to Charleston to the only tea plantation in North America and I, of course, went a little crazy in the gift shop. I am SO GLAD I allowed myself this seemingly small indulgence because when I pulled down The Box of Tea, I was immediately transported back to that wonderful day, reliving every detail and every joy and thought. Pouring the boiling water over one of those little tea bags made me remember the warmth of his hand around mine as we strolled through the shop. And the little Pot, Cup, and Saucer I bought will remind me of The Day every time I use it, long after The Box of Tea is gone. It may seem silly to some, but for me, it is wonderful, romantic, and a great reason to buy whatever you want in gift shops.
Well, maybe not that last one. =P
I'm reading a book right now called "Always the Baker, Never the Bride" about a small town pastry chef and how she gets roped into the wedding business. She is hired by a hotel manager who wants to turn the hotel into a one-stop wedding catch-all. Have I mentioned I would like to be transported into this book? It may not exactly be literature, but any character that presents high tea (complete with petit fours, tea pots, and other delicious treats) I can completely identify with.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Knitting incognito
Continuing with current birthday project, under an alias. As I still live with said birthday girl (my mama), I am pretending to amass knitted things for my future home with husband. So far, a success. I can knit in the open with no fear of discovery!
Speaking of "husband", the future one and I had one of those semi-scary and "wow, this is where it starts!" conversations about our living arrangement once we're married. Currently, he's living in a 1-bedroom apartment which is great for him, but wanted to renew his contract for another year... which means I would also be living in this 1-bedroom apartment... with all of my yarn... I don't think he realized the gravity of that situation.
It's amazing to me how much yarn is collected and actually USED for various projects over time. I can't bring myself to get rid of any of it because every shade of green or blue or red is not created equal! I need them all! Factor in various yarn weights and textures and you might as well forget the whole thing. Which is why I have currently 2 bags of yarn, one under-the-bed storage unit full, and one shelf full. I have to admit to being slightly ashamed... fortunately the only other living being dealing with this hoard is Mad-Eye, my fish, and since none of it winds up in his water, he doesn't seem to mind. Yet.
I'll end on a non-knitting, non-yarn note of coziness. Today while browsing free books on my Kindle (an EXCELLENT source for reading and knitting at the same time: No pages lost, no book to hold... amazing), I came across one titled "The Unofficial Harry Potter Christmas Cookbook". I immediately grabbed it up, of course. I'd seen "The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook", non-Christmas edition and was delighted that someone had taken all those amazing English dishes from the book and told me, stupid American that I am, what they actually were, AND how to make them! And now I have "Christmas" for all time. Get ready for the Yorkshire Pudding!!
Lots of love, -b
Speaking of "husband", the future one and I had one of those semi-scary and "wow, this is where it starts!" conversations about our living arrangement once we're married. Currently, he's living in a 1-bedroom apartment which is great for him, but wanted to renew his contract for another year... which means I would also be living in this 1-bedroom apartment... with all of my yarn... I don't think he realized the gravity of that situation.
It's amazing to me how much yarn is collected and actually USED for various projects over time. I can't bring myself to get rid of any of it because every shade of green or blue or red is not created equal! I need them all! Factor in various yarn weights and textures and you might as well forget the whole thing. Which is why I have currently 2 bags of yarn, one under-the-bed storage unit full, and one shelf full. I have to admit to being slightly ashamed... fortunately the only other living being dealing with this hoard is Mad-Eye, my fish, and since none of it winds up in his water, he doesn't seem to mind. Yet.
I'll end on a non-knitting, non-yarn note of coziness. Today while browsing free books on my Kindle (an EXCELLENT source for reading and knitting at the same time: No pages lost, no book to hold... amazing), I came across one titled "The Unofficial Harry Potter Christmas Cookbook". I immediately grabbed it up, of course. I'd seen "The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook", non-Christmas edition and was delighted that someone had taken all those amazing English dishes from the book and told me, stupid American that I am, what they actually were, AND how to make them! And now I have "Christmas" for all time. Get ready for the Yorkshire Pudding!!
Lots of love, -b
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