... or should I say, Oh, May! What a month, already.
I am officialy NOT a college student anymore. I know this has been official for a year now (yes, a year... DANG.), but the reality hit me when I went to audition for placement in an actual opera company for the '11-'12 season. I realized how truly important the audition was to me because nothing was given - if I get this part, it's because I earned it, in the real world, under real circumstances, with real talent. That, my friends, is huge. Granted, I have to keep myself from going to the place in my mind that says, "...then if you don't get it, you won't make it in the real world and have no talent and..." blah blah blah endless negativity blah. For now, I am in a positive place. It was a very, very successful audition, whether I make it or not. This is a concept I have not been able to grasp until now. Someone else's opinion of me, my voice, or my talent does not, I repeat NOT, determine my own success. I feel extremely pleased with the way I sang and performed. To me, that is success.
Especially since this was my first real, face-to-face, opera audition. Big.
By the way, has anyone ever figured out why judges are so unreadable?!? What's the deal? I think I would be a horrible talent judge because if someone came in and was great, I'd be so excited and want to tell them how great they were and hear them sing more and so on, instead of nonchalantly making a few notes on the paper, cutting them off mid-song, and going on to the next candidate. By the same token, if someone was terrible, I'd have a VERY difficult time keeping cringes from my expression and trying to help their pitch with my eyebrows. "Just a little higher, just a little higher!!!!!" I'd probably want to give them a few pointers then and there instead of saying a non-commital, "Thank you for coming! We'll let you know." They make it so hard to know whether you're in or out. I feel like I'm waiting to find out the secret password to the club entrance. And it's only been a few days. Terrible...
This has turned out to be an extremely busy two weeks past. I picked up almost a half-dozen new voice students, or at least prospective voice students. I thought everything would drop down to zero for summer plans, but it looks like everyone wants to pick it up now that school is out. Praise be, jobs for me! There are two that I am particularly looking forward to, a pair of sisters. They will be great, I have a feeling. I've also picked up more hours at my non-career job that pays my bills, so now I can pay more bills, yay. Bills... I never understood the dread of that monthly reminder that you shouldn't ever have any money left over until now. Oh sweet bills, you are such humanity. Thank you for keeping me humble and organized.
CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL THE WEDDING. I am getting to that place. That inevitable place where things have slowed down a little with the planning and now it's a waiting game. There are still things left to do, of course, but up until about a month from the wedding, I'm pretty much set. So, of course, I'm left thinking about all the things that could be happening, if we were already married. All of the coziness of the apartment together. All the movie nights and not having to go out to enjoy each other's company. And I have nearly 5 months of this left. I think I will drive myself crazy far before then. I am probably thinking about all of this even more given that the Fiance and I will be going up to PA to his cousin's wedding this weekend. I am very much looking forward to getting to relax and get away a little bit, and hopefully take a break from OUR wedding details and enjoy the fruits of someone ELSE'S planning labors!
All in all, busy suits me. I'm very excited about the prospect of a smartphone with an awesome calendar app so that I can keep everything even more organized. I have not been very good with my calendar these two weeks past - it's almost like too many things happened all at once to write down! But, the Fiance is getting his upgrade in about a week or so and I will be added to his phone plan, what with us getting married soon and all. I swear, we've done more things to bind us together for the next several years in the last few months that signing a marriage certificate is going to be nothing. Car loan, car title, insurance, phone, honeymoon vacation, plane tickets... we're set. We should've just signed one of those legal documents as Mr. and Mrs. and then we'd be done with all the fuss! =P
Love to you all and hope May brings many things besides just flowers,