Monday, August 29, 2011

Ah, pre-marital delusions...

Fiance and I have begun our pre-marital sessions. At first, I dreaded them, nearly sweaty-palmed terrified at the prospect. But after our first meeting wasn't so bad, I figured it would be okay. Turns out, these books they make you read on marriage? They do their best to make you understand what REAL marriage will be like.
Like crush-your-childhood-fantasy-of-marriage real.
It's good, I don't want to be in denial or have impossible expectations. And I'm a lot more realistic about my ideas about relationships than I once was. And most of the stuff (so far) has been things I'm trying to prepare myself about anyway. But then Fiance has to go and do this.
I'm texting my love and all of a sudden, he lets me know that the power has gone out in his apartment, right in the middle of him making dinner for himself, albeit Tuna helper dinner. Still oh no! (Note: anyone who has ever made any kind of Fill-In-The-Blank Helper knows that it does not begin prettily. In fact, every one of them looks like some sort of vomit till about 3 seconds before it's done. Fiance and I call this the "Ugly Stage" of Helper meals.) I am duly sympathetic and helpful.
Him: Maybe there's enough residual heat on the burner to finish it...
Me: Oh no! What were you making?
Him: Tuna Helper lol
Me: Aww, still in the ugly stage or almost done?? Did you put a lid on it??
Him: I had a lid on it and it's definitely ugly. It's not thick yet and it's like soup. Tuna Helper soup.
Me: I'm sorry!! =(
Him: It's kinda done... tastes alright but looks like gruel. Some of the poweder stuff didn't mix in all the way.
Me: Oh lame =( I'm sorry!
All normal disapointment/make it better stuff, right? Here comes the drama.
Him: It's fine baby. I'm sure there will be times like that when we're married.
GASP. WHAT?!?!??!?!
Me: NO!!! Never! Everything I cook will be perfect! Always! I'll be a flawless wife!
Him: ... and if the power goes out in the middle of your flawless dinner?
Me: I'm still flawless! I have magic powers!
Him: Oh, that's right, I forgot. Sorry baby. =P
I know everything won't be perfect and that I'll never be a flawless wife... in theory. When faced with this real-life conundrum I was deeply saddenedwith the truth that yes, one night in our married life, I'll be cooking a glorious, time-consuming, non-Helper dinner. And the power will go off. And ruin everything. How will I respond to this? Hmmm...
I guess the most eye opening part of pre-marital and, from my understanding, that first year together, is the true LIFE stuff. The everything-isn't-always-rainbows-and-daisies stuff. And you know what?
That's okay.
We will eat Tuna Helper gruel by candle light.
Love to all, especially Fiance,

1 comment:

  1. Speaking from my experience, one of two things will happen: You will either say "oh well" and go out on an impromptu date or you both will eat it and he will genuinely act like it's super awesome because he knows it matters to you. More often than not the second scenario will happen (and this applies to when a new recipe doesn't turn out as flawlessly as planned) and in that moment you will be reminded of one of the MANY reasons why you married him... because he puts your feelings before his own. You want things to go completely wrong sometimes because those "terrible" moments are when your marriage shines the most. You two will be perfect together, no worries :) Marriage can be stressful sometimes but that's why God designed it for two people. That way you always have someone else to hold hands with to get through it. Love you!!